well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
mondays should just be called national damage control day
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
