Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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