I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
