Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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