And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
