So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
