Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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