I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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