it wasn't lemon gatorade
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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