I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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