dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
