I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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