Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize