I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
