butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
