Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
