i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
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I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
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I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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