how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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