he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
