Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
