is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
