the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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