new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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