how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
