Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize