I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize