surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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