Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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