STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
