You're so nebulous sometimes
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize