What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
