Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
