guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
