i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
