Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
