Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
