You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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