i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize