90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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