Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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