would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
do nipples grow back?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
