I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
