you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
