ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize