Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
