dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
