Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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