We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
