Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
