You smell like stripper and shame
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
