You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
