it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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