you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
