no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
