Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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