I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
