i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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