she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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