I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
