My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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