He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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