She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
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I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
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All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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