why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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