I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
