so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
