Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
