would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
