i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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