you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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