I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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