So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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